Off-Topic: Black Swan Rhapsody

It’s way … way off-topic, but I still hope you enjoy it. To the tune of Queen’s classic Bohemian Rhapsody – and feel free to pick up that air guitar – here is:

 

Black Swan Rhapsody

 

Level 3 assets – the stuff that hardly moves

Markets in lockdown – All covered in Black Swan poo

We closed our eyes – And bet the house on green

30 times leverage  - Needed no equity

And now Freddie’s broke – Fannie’s broke – Lehman’s gone – Merrill too

Anyway the wind blows, the smell in here won’t disappear – for years

 

Henry, our banks go bust

We tried everything we could

But the shorters got us good

Henry, what are we to do?

And can we keep our golden parachutes?

 

Henry, ooo-ooo, housing’s down the drain

Couldn’t Ben Bernanke cut his rates

Once again – Once again

And open up his windows

 

Too late, sold all my stock

Mere pennies on the buck

Credit default, auction block

 

Goodbye everybody – The Street is gone

Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs proved mortal too

Henry, ooo-ooo, don’t make me resign

Everybody knows I’ve done no wrong

 

I see the credit spreads going through the roof

Greenspan put, Greenspan put,

Mortgage moguls,  flipping condos

Predatory lending, buyers overspending too

 

Gimme credit - here’s your credit

Gimme credit - here’s your credit

Cause the Jones’s have it too – buncha foo-ools

 

There is the broker, oh how we love him

Overstated income, gospel of Ownership

Spare me this talk of a real estate peak

 

Easy come, easy gain, quickly sell the pain

Securitize – as safe as Uncle Sam – it’s a scam

It’s rated – safe as Uncle Sam – it’s a scam

It’s rated – safe as Uncle Sam – it’s a scam

safe as Uncle Sam- it’s a scam

safe as Uncle Sam- it’s a scam

 

Go go go go go go go

 

Triple A, triple A, it is magic, it’s ok

Then sell this stuff, get it off our balance sheet

More fees, more fees

 

So I told you to get all this junk off my balance sheet

All these write-downs, so high, they just give me a nosebleed

Ooo-ooo, traders, who should I put the blame on

Just gotta  get out – how do I get outta here

 

We really couldn’t help it – This couldn’t be foreseen

But this smell will linger- but this smell will linger  - for years

Anyway the wind blows…